Sorry. This isn't a picture post. It's an into-the mind-of-Liz post, so you can check back later for pictures if you wish.
I think lately God has been telling me to stop rushing around and be more polite to people. Perhaps even make eye-contact. I've gotten into this rut of trying to get from point A to point B as quickly as possible. Especially when I have Eli in tow. I look for the checkout lanes with the least amount of people. I stay in the fast lane on the freeway. It feels like there aren't enough hours in the day when there are errands to run and chores to do.
So the other day I was dashing into the grocery store from the left and some slow walkers were coming in from the right. I didn't even look at them, I just zoomed past and maybe even cut them off a little bit. But I had Eli on my hip and my eye on the shopping carts and didn't even look at the people. As I was buckling Eli into the cart the lady I had cut off came over and started talking to Eli! Turns out it was someone from church! A sweet lady whose daughter does all the administrative stuff for BJ. I felt terrible for not even looking at them.
Then this morning I was making a mad dash to the post office while BJ was home with Eli. It's only a mile down the road from here. but I got behind a grandpa at the traffic light and when it turned green he was going too slow so I ended up pretty much running the red light. When I got to the P.O. I was annoyed b/c there weren't any spots close to the building and one guy had taken up two parking spots. So in order to get a close spot I had to park crooked as well (I am thinking how lame I am now as I write this). As I got out of the car I saw out of the corner of my eye a lady with 2 boys slightly behind me carrying a large box. And immediately I think, I have to get in front of them so that I can be next in line! Well, one of the boys runs up and even opened the door for me as I walk into the building. I had to stand in line behind one other customer and as I get my small package stamped I start to feel really guilty. I should have let them go ahead of me. They have a huge heavy looking box and I think they were out of their car before I was and it just would have been polite to let them go ahead. So as I am walking out the door avoiding eye contact I hear, "Hey Liz". I turn to see Sue and her 2 boys who are in BJ's youth group standing there. One of them had even held the door for me. Sue has even had me over for lunch and she and her husband are from Michigan. She went to Kendall where BJ's dad went to school for crying out loud! I say, "OH hi!" Ask how they're doing and even comment about how big the box is that they are mailing. Then I tell them to have a nice week and walk away feeling absolutely mortified. Then I remember how I saw them in Wal Mart about a month ago and would have walked past them except they said, "Hey Liz" and got my attention.
Maybe I am being absolutely ridiculous and self conscious. Hickory is a small town and I am use to being in Plymouth where I only saw strangers when I went out. My mother always told me to avoid eye-contact with strangers, especially men. But I was reading a Christian book the other day (can't remember what) and it said that shame is what makes us avoid eye contact with other people. I am so use to keeping to myself and just trying to mind my own business but how am I going to be the light of Christ to the world if I am staring at the ground or straight ahead all the time.
I really think I just need to slow down and stop worrying about what needs to be done all the time. I should take time to smile and make eye contact with other moms (maybe not men) and scan the Wal Mart aisle for people I might know.
